Trials of life
Not the cheeriest post I’ve ever written coming
up, so feel free to look away now. This is about a generally crappy time that the
family is navigating its way through. Though not without its moments of humour,
it has to be said.
The hitherto indestructible and irrepressible
Granny Milner, unwitting star of a good number of these blog posts, is in a bad
way.
An operation to clear a blockage in her throat recently
went wrong and resulted in a punctured trachea. During the procedure an
inoperable malignant growth was discovered in the same place. It became obvious
that she was facing two significant battles. The first was to recover from the
operation and the infections that were coursing round her body as a result of
the puncture. For at least a couple of days, things were touch and go. But
Granny has some hidden strengths and reserves of grit. She seems to be coming
through that phase. It’s good to see flashes of cheeky humour and selfless spirit
returning.
The second battle is one she may not win in the
long term. But that spirit and humour will enable her to wring every last drop
of pleasure and quality from the palliative care that is to come. We are
anticipating Granny coming home next week - which is massive progress - ahead
of a radiotherapy course. She’s now out of a private room and on to a ward with
others at whom she will be talking incessantly to make up for lost time
whilst in isolation. The throat may be shot to pieces as regards a feeding
mechanism, but remarkably the voice is totally intact. How could it ever have
been any other way? Granny’s strategy, of course, is to get as many words out
as quickly as possible just in case the larynx packs up as well. The audience
for, and subject of those words is largely inconsequential...
Mrs A has had a grim time. Dealing with the rumour
that one’s nearest and dearest may well be mortal after all is deeply testing.
Add in the daily shuttle to Oxford as if attached to the place on a length of
unforgiving elastic, and then assuming the role of news filter for a waiting,
concerned world makes for a tough and exhausting existence.
There are silver linings of course. The
legendary Auntie Betty is over from Florida (84th birthday on
Monday) and spending a lot of time with her one remaining sister. She had been
concerned about Granny’s deteriorating condition for a while. In some
unfathomable act of spooky premonition she booked the flight and arrived in
Britain about two days before the throat procedure was confirmed for the
following week. And now that things have gone wrong, there is nowhere else on
the planet that she would rather be.
But spare some pity for the nursing staff.
Couped up in the Churchill Hospital with those two for about a month. One confused
but chatty. The other loud but deaf. A potent mixture.
Granny: “I’m going for an x-ray later. Or is it
a scan? Or was that yesterday?”
Betty: “WHART? AN X-RAY DID YOU SAY? OH MY GARD!
NOT ANOTHER ONE. OH MY GARD! WHY DOES SHE NEED ANOTHER X-RAY? NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING IN THIS
PLACE”.
Shuffle and repeat.
Mrs A’s sister Sue has just arrived from
Tenerife too. Granny has loved seeing her. But I’m not sure it’s helping the
general confusion about who is who at the hospital. Granny introduced her daughter
to the duty nurse yesterday as her sister from Florida! Clearly ageing well. 84
going on 47.
Sue’s arrival was meant to be a little surprise
for Auntie Betty, just to give her something to cheer her up whilst she’s here.
But Granny has been trying hard to harpoon the plans.
“See these new socks, Betty? They were from Sue
yesterday when she came in.”
“OH YEAH, NICE. WHART? WHO DID YOU SAY?”
We had a scream the other night when Betty was
staying with us. The whole Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra
sing-a-long experience. The four of us were sat around the table with Betty
whilst she was crooning along with Neil Diamond,
“THEY COME TO AMERICA! TODAY! TODAY!”
The girls were laughing along.
“AH, NEIL DIAMOND’, WHAT A HUNK.” Betty uttered,
in that side-of-the-mouth delivery, wistful look in her eyes.
They both glanced at her and then at each other
with grins that said, “Did my 84 year old Auntie just describe Neil Diamond as
a hunk?” Betty caught their looks.
“OH YEAH. WITH THAT SEQUINED SHIRT OPEN ALL THE
WAY TO THE NAVAL, THAT BIG BUSHY HAIRY CHEST AND TIGHT TROUSERS. WOW! I MEAN
WOW! OH MY GARD, WHAT A LOOKER, RIGHT?”
Fantastic. These two positive, selfless, warm
and unashamedly individual sisters are an inspiration.
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